The fiscal cliff is quickly approaching and I’m preparing to careen off it like Thelma and Louise in a lemming herd. It’s not that such a calamity is all that inviting; it’s just far better than hearing the words “fiscal cliff” uttered in polite company again. I don’t find it unusual that we’re driving over a cliff since the Republicans drove the economy into the ditch a few years back. I’m thinking all America needs is driver’s education but we had to cut those programs because we drove our schools into bankruptcy. Go figure.
Besides, I don’t want to jump off of any cliff until I’m sure that the war on Christmas has been won and paid for. Santa Monica was the latest city to ban nativity scenes in public areas. Really? A city named after Santa did this? I don’t like this so much that I think I’m going to “unlike” Santa Monica on Facebook. It’s literally the least I can do to support the war effort — just like we do in Afghanistan.
Personally, I want to pay for all of our wars, but not if the wealthiest one percent is included because these gentle folks are out creating jobs. They won’t do that if they have to pay taxes on profits made from Christmas shoppers who are ignoring the war on Christmas and going about their buying as if Christ was only born once a year.
Job creators are curious folks. Their creating side gets all flummoxed if the maximum profit isn’t realized. They just take their ball and go home. Large businesses can’t survive making $2 billion in profit per year if the government takes 39 percent instead of 36 percent in taxes. It is a disincentive to perform. It only leaves them with $1.4 billion in profit and no one can stay in business on that chicken feed.
The job creators are the ones that dreamt up the American way of life, they weren’t just born into it. And despite the fact that the hourly worker bee creates all the wealth for the job creator with sweat, paying that bee a fair wage is blatant idiocy. Better to create jobs in China than share with the workers or the country that job creators are responsible for constructing which, by the way, is the very same that is about to jump off a cliff. Nice job, creators.
But I digress. We’re about to fall off a cliff and I’m wondering where all the previous cliff remedies have gone. Where’s the “bridge to the 21st century? Even a bridge to nowhere would be better than a fiscal cliff, but Ted Stevens has passed on to that great pork barrel in the sky. A rope might let us down easy, but give any species too much rope and it will hang itself — known fact.
Cutting government size is always a good plan. It’s just that cutting government gets sticky when it comes to programs I like. Entitlements are bad except those that I’m entitled to receive. I have to agree with the tea party patriot who once said, “Keep your worthless government hands off my Medicare!”
The fiscal cliff can’t be all that bad. We’ve been told all summer that the government doesn’t create jobs; the private sector does it all. If that’s the case, reducing spending by the government can’t hurt anyone, can it? Isn’t smaller government the idealistic notion everyone aspires for in this great homeland? We’ll finally get a government small enough to be drowned in the bathtub on its free fall down the precipice. There is nothing to worry about as long as conservatives can have it every way they want.
Aren’t these are the same representatives that renamed fried potatoes and egg-battered toast “freedom” instead of French? When I think that these brainiacs are doing the driving meant to keep us from going over the fiscal cliff, I know that America is in the good hands of leaders with slightly higher IQs than fifth graders. What could go wrong?
Contrived crises such as the “war on Christmas” or the “fiscal cliff” cause most Americans to register a huge snore of disgust. There is even disdain for the plight of the “job creators” because when there’s money to be made no one takes their ball and goes home. With millions out of work since the Great Recession began, the forced austerity of another crisis rings hollow. Unfortunately, for many in America, the job creators have outsourced their jobs, and paid them so little for what employment remains, that they’re already waiting at the bottom.
One man’s deadly cliff is another man’s opportunity to do some climbing.
Email Johnny at firstname.lastname@example.org.