Once again we have had two fatal stabbings in one week. We must do something to stop this unnecessary knife-wielding public massacre of our children and relatives. I think we need to pass a law banning all knifes longer than one inch, make all households that are presently owners of these weapons of mass killers register all of their knives, identify the parents of mentally disabled children to make sure their knives are locked up or dulled so they can’t cut anything, prohibit the manufacture of these dangerous child killers, and create government bureaus to regulate and register every knife in the United States. Just think of all the jobs it would create: The bureau of kitchen knife registry, the bureau of hunting knife registry, the homeland security pocket knife agency, the homeland security gang knife registry, the housewives cheating husband killer prevention agency, and the national sword registry. These fine bureaus would provide thousands of jobs and remove a serious killer from our list of instruments of destruction. We can pass an amendment to the constitution and tack on serious pork bills like a new hairdo for Michelle, a new tie for Barack, a new library for Aspen and a sock for Mick Ireland’s mouth.
I urge you to write your congressman and have this bill passed. If this seems stupid, just look at the present gun bills before the Legislature as we speak.