Thanks to Aspen City Council for “preserving” Cooper Street Pier on Monday night, but some of us fear the deal didn’t go far enough.
City Council’s settlement with the Cooper Street Pier building’s owners calls for them to put in a “workingman’s bar” in the basement of the new building to replace the existing establishment, with mandates that call for a reasonably priced menu.
But apparently there was no mention in the settlement about several of the Cooper Street Pier features that appeal to workingmen. For example, there’s the cigarette vending machine and ATM at the top of the stairs in the existing Cooper Street. Will the new Cooper Street Pier retain the cigarette vending machine and ATM? Any workingman’s bar worth its spit and sweat requires both amenities. Easy access to cigarettes for those addicted to nicotine is a must, as well as an ATM so folks can go out and search for those “late night enhancers” that some Aspen residents are so fond of.
And what about a few dark and furtive corners for lurking, leering, hurling, scratching and conducting business transactions (such as underground commodities sales)? Will the basement version of Cooper Street retain as many dark corners (preferably with low ceilings) as the back part of the existing Cooper Street and parts of the upstairs? What’s the FAR (floor area ratio) of dark corners to well-lit corners in the current Cooper Street Pier? Somebody needs to get the Aspen planning department on this one before it’s too late.
Speaking of FAR, what about Cooper Street’s upstairs pool tables? Several bar-sized pool tables occupy about 300 square feet of that space now. Will the new Cooper Street be allowed to ditch the bar-sized tables and install a single regulation-sized table? Such a regulation-sized table would only upscale what’s supposed to be a downscale operation and attract the cigar-bar crowd. It would also cut the total number of tables, which in turn would deny many workingmen the opportunity to engage in their primary recreational activity: getting drunk while shooting pool in hopes of picking up an equally drunk pool-shooting woman.
And let’s not forget what every workingman’s bar needs: cold beer by the pitcher. Pitchers are cheaper than glasses or bottled beer. Pitchers are also sometimes preferable because you can order about four at a time and not worry about getting the waitress to return any time soon.
Anything else?
Yes.
During construction of the new Cooper Street Pier building, the owners should be made to relocate the existing Cooper Street bar into an existing building until such time as the new bar is ready to open. The Obermeyer redevelopment set the precedent for this one when the property owners had to relocate existing businesses until construction was finished. Why should the Cooper Street Pier owners be treated any differently from the Obermeyer owners? It’s an extraction. Shouldn’t all extractions be carried out equally, regardless of a property owner’s ability to pay? It’s the Aspen way.
Along the same line, where are the hundreds of Cooper Street patrons going to go drink if there’s no temporary replacement? Bentley’s? Where they’ll start crowding out tourists, fighting with them, or both? Talk about giving Aspen a “black eye.” That’s not good.
All the aforementioned demands were not too much for the city to ask. This is Aspen, after all, where private business must mitigate all economic and social impacts created by their insatiable drive for even more gobs of money than they already possess.
Alas, however, the time for negotiations is over. The Cooper Street deal is done and as City Councilman Jack Johnson said, “It’s better than nothing.”
Let’s hope it’s enough.
Lynn Burton is night editor for the Aspen Daily News. He can be reached at lburton@aspendailynews.com.
