Equal parts amused and enthused (and sometimes bewildered) by our local friends’ post-work tales of the trade, we sought to gather and share the best stories of Aspen visitors and their often-lofty requests. While names and specific details have been omitted (for obvious reasons), the following comes courtesy of Aspen’s hospitality-industry worker bees. And, let’s face it: We couldn’t make these up if we tried. Here, a collection of some of our favorite “only in Aspen” moments (the ones that are fit for print, anyway).

Cloud Niner 2

From a hotel guest to a concierge via email:

“What time is après-ski?”

From an Aspen concierge:

“Two guests who did not ski or snowboard asked if we could help them charter a helicopter so they could repel to Cloud Nine for a 2 p.m. reservation.”

(Editor’s note: No helicopter was chartered that day.)

Dom-Deviants-2

From an Aspen hotel exec:

“A guest coming in for a four-day visit wanted to impress his girlfriend. He explained she had a special diet: boiled chicken, jasmine rice and Dom Pérignon. We arranged for 18 bottles of Dom Pérignon Champagne and 12 bottles of Dom Pérignon Rosé Champagne to be delivered to their room. On their third day, they ran out of Champagne.” 

From an Aspen event planner:

“A client once asked us if there were any bugs on top of Aspen Mountain. Politely, I responded that, yes, there may be a bug up there. She then asked us to remove all of the insects from the top of the mountain.”

(Editor’s note: No bugs on Aspen Mountain were harmed.)

A famous pop singer to a hotel valet at 3 p.m. during ski season:

Singer: “Buttermilk, please.”

Valet (timidly): “Miss, the mountain closes in 30 minutes.”

Singer: “Oh, they’ll keep it open for me.”

Pooch-Paradise-2

From a hotel employee:

“A guest brought their two dogs with them for an extended summer stay. During their visit, they wanted to leave town for the weekend to go camping and didn’t want to worry about the dogs. They arranged for a full-time dog-sitter and for the hotel’s room-service staff to prepare all the dogs’ food while following specific directions: All meat needed to be cut into one-quarter inch by one-quarter inch squares, and the individual bites could not touch. Additionally, all the food had to be presented with  a linen towel underneath the dishes. They requested to purchase a baby crib for the dogs, which we  also arranged. The guests returned to some very happy pups.”

From an Aspen event planner:

“A groom once asked if we could wrap every gondola in their wedding colors during the ceremony so there was a surprise for his  bride and their guests on the way down.”

(Editor’s note: The answer was, “No.”)

From a hotel guest in town during the summerto a concierge:

 “What do they do with the gondolas in the winter?” 

From a local private concierge service:

“It was less than 36 hours before New Year’s Eve, and one of our foreign clients wanted Santa Claus to come to their rental home by way of a horse-drawn sleigh—completely filled with presents—on December 31. Apparently, where they were from, that’s when Santa visits. Because most Santas-for-hire had hung up their suits for the season, we had to scramble to find a St. Nick for rent, a sleigh, horse and pre-wrapped presents. It was a pretty extravagant request and definitely a group effort to make it happen. In turn, we presented them with an equally extravagant bill.”

From an Aspen fly-fishing guide:

“Three hours into an otherwise successful four-hour fishing trip, my client paused and asked, ‘How do we get back to the car? Does this river go in a circle?’”

From a foreign tourist to a snowmobile guide:

Tourist: Points to the 14,000-foot-plus summit of Maroon Peak and states, “We want to go up there.”

Snowmobile guide: “Sorry sir, but this is National Forest Service land, which means we’re not allowed to go off the road—and even if we were, snowmobiles can’t make it to the top of the Maroon Bells.”

Tourist: Pulls out stack of hundreds from his pocket and asks, “How much?”

(Editor’s note: No one made it up the Bells that day.)

From an Aspen hotel manager:

“A guest asked our concierge desk if he could give us his baby monitor while he attended a concert and to call him if there was a problem with his child while he was away. We recommended he book a babysitter and offered to assist with arranging. Seemingly confused, the guest replied, ‘Having to pay a stranger to watch my child would be weird.’”