broncos shrine

The author’s makeshift Broncos shrine consists of an un-official bootleg, Day of the Dead Broncos skull bought on a beach in Mexico with cash; a quartz crystal found at Warren Lakes; a Franklin’s Mint replica Mile High Stadium; and the piece de resistance: one of Lady Gaga’s hairs. Don’t ask.

And just like so, the Denver Broncos’ season came to a screeching halt. Their season fittingly ended on a penalty, and down came my Broncos flag. What’s worse, my beloved shrine to the team apparently lost its mojo. We won’t be in the postseason after all, and frankly I couldn’t be more relieved. The stress of watching playoff football is all too much. What to wear on gameday, planning the halftime menu, and scheduling everything around skiing on top of work is way more than my adrenal glands can handle right now.

If you’ve been paying even the slightest bit of attention to the dialogue about the Broncos this year, you know that there has been a lot of finger-pointing directed toward their former coach, Vance Joseph. Fatefully, he was fired as most people surmised was going to happen, first thing on Monday morning.

He just never seemed comfortable to me in that position. He looked like a deer in the headlights most of the time. Joseph often appeared as if he’d just just seen a ghost. No, he looked more like a ghost who had just seen a ghost. But if you ask me, there’s way too much blame being put on the coach, and coaches in general. I say fire the man who hired him in the first place, John Elway.

That might be a bit extreme, but seriously, the guy’s been making suspicious decisions for a while now. Another thing that’s a worrisome harbinger of his decision-making skills is that politically, he’s on the wrong side of every single issue. Hearing Elway endorse politicians and ballot issues makes me want to gag. I liked him much better when he just played football.

When you finish bad-mouthing the coach, or anyone else in management of a losing team, where does the accountability lie with, say, the players themselves? Hypothetically, if every one of those “questionable” play calls turns out favorable because it’s executed differently, the coach is suddenly a genius. The margin for error in the NFL is so razor-thin, and the skill level is so high, that there’s just not a lot of room at the top.

The fact is we need a new head coach and a new quarterback. John Elway scored us Peyton Manning — the guy with the forehead. Now it’s time for him to land another big fish. For a head coach, the recently fired Mike McCarthy from the Green Bay Packers would be good. As a quarterback, Colin Kaepernick makes perfect sense to me –— and it wouldn’t be the first time the Broncos have talked to him, either. And for a new owner of the Broncos franchise, keep it in the family and give the reins to Pat Bowlen’s daughter, Brittany Bowlen. That’s the most intriguing position, if you ask me.

There’s a complex ownership dispute going on behind the scenes in Bronco-land right now, and it has to do with the Bowlen kids and family. It reminds me of the movie “Any Given Sunday” with Al Pacino, where the owner’s daughter (played by Cameron Diaz) ends up in control of the team, calling the shots. Play Alice Cooper’s “Billion Dollar Babies” as the intro and you have yourself a docu-drama remake worthy of the old Denver-centric soap opera “Dynasty.” The unhinged madness behind the team-ownership scene probably makes the games themselves seem tame. Hopefully life will imitate art, and Brittany Bowlen can gracefully ascend the stairway to Bronco proprietorship heaven.

Meanwhile, I’m doomed as a diehard Broncos fan to play out the rest of the NFL playoffs/Super Bowl season, woefully flanked on both sides by New England Patriots fans. Living next to Patriots fans is like having a dull headache and low-grade fever from September until February. Besides, isn’t that a flagrant APCHA yellow-flag violation?

I’m optimistic that John Elway finds us a really iconic head coach and a veteran quarterback for next season. Then, as a swan song, when his contract expires in four more years, he can honor her dad’s wishes and hold the ladder for Brittany Bowlen as she climbs to the top ownership rung of the Denver Broncos organization.